








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2280 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2641 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2398 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1509 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,525 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaka | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Kairos | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | tooTall | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Dulabu | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | melløw | 49% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | FCON-SCHNORREBOX | 48% | 109 |
| #9 | Alucard | 43% | 192 |
| #10 | UnkeM | 43% | 152 |
| #11 | *Gr3y | 42% | 62 |
| #12 | Dävodert iSN | 28% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dAYWALKER | +2.44 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | UnkeM | +1.71 | 88 | 56 |
| #3 | nuds | +0.86 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Alucard | +0.42 | 88 | 65 |
| #5 | Kairos | -0.01 | 68 | 57 |





