








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
63 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 44 | 19% |
| Smokes | 57 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 59 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 70 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $12,900 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varholm | 1 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PyRo | 10 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #2 | kArri0uz | 9 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #3 | Jukka | 7 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | ✪SG-47 | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Varholm | 4 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kArri0uz | +9.43 | 59 | 75 |
| #2 | Varholm | +5.04 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | ✪SG-47 | +2.95 | 80 | 53 |
| #4 | THUGGER ;* ;** | +1.75 | 85 | 67 |
| #5 | Jukka | +0.84 | 72 | 79 |





