








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,949 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 655 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1464 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 903 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,997 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bounch | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | daze +_- [A] | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | Elosmian | 74% | 19 |
| #4 | thomppas | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | Lazeh | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lers | 63% | 8 |
| #10 | Fröbelin's Paliks | 63% | 8 |
| #11 | vasikan_nahka | 62% | 13 |
| #12 | Kanki | 60% | 10 |
| #13 | KEkab | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. Tyrone | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | thomppas | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | daze +_- [A] | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | vasikan_nahka | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Kanki | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taziki | 73 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | thomppas | 62 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Elosmian | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | bounch | 47 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | HakkiSkrt | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bounch | +3.69 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | vepaad | +1.92 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | Kanki | +1.04 | 56 | 69 |
| #4 | Taziki | +0.99 | 82 | 72 |
| #5 | Elosmian | +0.77 | 75 | 61 |





