








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 859 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1131 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 972 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1033 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,455 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enfohip | 57% | 75 |
| #2 | Kyew -iwl- | 49% | 122 |
| #3 | ShraMn | 48% | 108 |
| #4 | Massive | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | sam | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShraMn | 22 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | enfohip | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Kyew -iwl- | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | pawla | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | ♣ Kay9 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enfohip | 410 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | ShraMn | 357 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Kyew -iwl- | 280 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♣ Kay9 | 264 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | pawla | 187 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pawla | +3.48 | 94 | 70 |
| #2 | enfohip | +3.06 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | sam | +0.77 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | Massive | +0.31 | 73 | 54 |
| #5 | ♣ Kay9 | +0.18 | 68 | 63 |





