








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 671 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1203 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1112 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 601 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,423 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kl0ster | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | typeX | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | MrWhiner | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | ✪MØLLE | 48% | 87 |
| #5 | Phenomenon<333 | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪MØLLE | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | .Hyuuga | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | DroW | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Kl0ster | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | MrWhiner | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrWhiner | 258 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✪MØLLE | 247 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | DroW | 179 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | .Hyuuga | 111 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Phenomenon<333 | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrWhiner | +4.87 | 92 | 74 |
| #2 | .Hyuuga | +4.59 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | typeX | +3.89 | 90 | 73 |
| #4 | ✪MØLLE | +1.11 | 92 | 72 |
| #5 | Phenomenon<333 | +0.65 | 93 | 58 |





