








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 380 | 23% |
| Smokes | 358 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 504 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 384 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,086 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | J-Mark | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | SPERMULF | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | Asbjørnsen | 37% | 46 |
| #8 | JankyPud | 25% | 16 |
| #9 | Djeibee | 23% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asbjørnsen | 90 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | nahooj | 67 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Djeibee | 64 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | SPERMULF | 49 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | JankyPud | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |





