








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1365 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1341 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1314 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 980 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,182 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | KioskNiko | 36% | 92 |
| #13 | Kairo | 36% | 14 |
| #14 | crouchp33k | 33% | 39 |
| #15 | BOT NÄNNIPIHAN KEISARI | 30% | 70 |
| #16 | Razuz | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT NÄNNIPIHAN KEISARI | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Tsikkenlord | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Nänhäri | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kurre | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | KioskNiko | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nimble | 338 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | KioskNiko | 270 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nänhäri | 239 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tsikkenlord | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | crouchp33k | 135 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nänhäri | +2.60 | 81 | 77 |
| #2 | mc_jarruraita | +2.57 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | Wuppa | +2.35 | 56 | 69 |
| #4 | Swivel Sweeper MAX | +1.03 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | Spuffy | +0.89 | 90 | 58 |





