








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 799 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1836 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2779 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2496 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,173,996 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | j0s | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | Leopold Slikk | 50% | 254 |
| #7 | Nofriens | 49% | 182 |
| #8 | fakeZ | 44% | 18 |
| #9 | Lemillion | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leopold Slikk | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Nofriens | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | patcher | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | j0s | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Priv. Di'figiano | 1 | 0.0009 |





