








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2302 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2157 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2198 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2030 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,894 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klingel Schlaus | 56% | 62 |
| #2 | ARTICZ | 56% | 100 |
| #3 | valo player | 55% | 176 |
| #4 | Teddy | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Wezzo | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valo player | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Nofriens | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ARTICZ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Leopold Slikk | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Hold mit colt | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leopold Slikk | 525 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | valo player | 494 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | ARTICZ | 297 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Klingel Schlaus | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hold mit colt | 177 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valo player | +3.81 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | ARTICZ | +1.56 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | deddy | +1.36 | 88 | 58 |
| #4 | Leopold Slikk | +1.06 | 63 | 73 |
| #5 | Wezzo | +0.46 | 85 | 50 |





