








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1450 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1239 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1528 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1236 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,351 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ɪᴅғᴄ 𝓊𝓃𝓀𝓃𝓍𝓌𝓃 | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Inter RA | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Max | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | 𝙎 𝙞 𝙡 𝙫 黄泉 | 51% | 91 |
| #5 | Silent | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𝙎 𝙞 𝙡 𝙫 黄泉 | 51% | 91 |
| #5 | Silent | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | Maxi | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Storm | 44% | 68 |
| #8 | Gesuel l'esorcist | 39% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gesuel l'esorcist | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | 𝙎 𝙞 𝙡 𝙫 黄泉 | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Maxi | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Inter RA | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ɪᴅғᴄ 𝓊𝓃𝓀𝓃𝓍𝓌𝓃 | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙎 𝙞 𝙡 𝙫 黄泉 | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Storm | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Silent | 75 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Max | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Maxi | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | +2.17 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | 𝙎 𝙞 𝙡 𝙫 黄泉 | +1.49 | 68 | 53 |
| #3 | Maxi | +0.92 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Silent | +0.54 | 77 | 51 |
| #5 | Nijo 🆂🅴🆂🅷♛ | +0.27 | 71 | 64 |





