










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 134 | 20% |
| Smokes | 178 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 225 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 148 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,544 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zubmit | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Slappjack | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | FunCee | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | King Mozambique | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Gramse | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zubmit | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Slappjack | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | FunCee | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | King Mozambique | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Gramse | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zubmit | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Slappjack | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunCee | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Slappjack | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | Zubmit | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | King Mozambique | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gramse | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zubmit | +2.24 | 65 | 59 |
| #2 | FunCee | +2.00 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | King Mozambique | +0.30 | 79 | 51 |
| #4 | Aimer Carl | -0.35 | 53 | 46 |
| #5 | Gramse | -1.34 | 78 | 37 |





