








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6084 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6959 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7772 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5594 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,892 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julhooo | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Zankie | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | weku | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | King | 53% | 89 |
| #5 | MentZi | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julhooo | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Zankie | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | weku | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | King | 53% | 89 |
| #5 | MentZi | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Julhooo | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | MentZi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Zankie | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King | 533 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | MentZi | 267 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zankie | 171 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | weku | 163 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Julhooo | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weku | +3.99 | 80 | 82 |
| #2 | King | +0.64 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | MentZi | +0.24 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | Julhooo | -0.30 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | Zankie | -0.97 | 75 | 59 |





