








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 6% |
| Smokes | 793 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 404 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 307 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $800,712 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havuton | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | nikk9 | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Nokkamies | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Alm3ra | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Tinkenator | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinkenator | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | JoL | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | TunTuri | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Alm3ra | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Tony | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alm3ra | 243 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | JoL | 139 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tony | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | TunTuri | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | nikk9 | 41 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoL | +5.60 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | TunTuri | +3.16 | 27 | 66 |
| #3 | nikk9 | +2.66 | 70 | 76 |
| #4 | Tony | -0.90 | 31 | 50 |
| #5 | Nokkamies | -0.91 | 46 | 54 |





