








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1070 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2181 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1692 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1326 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $782,319 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^f0x | 50% | 106 |
| #2 | Tabaahi | 38% | 24 |
| #3 | Lallanbhaiya | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 29% | 17 |
| #5 | DTox | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^f0x | 50% | 106 |
| #2 | Tabaahi | 38% | 24 |
| #3 | Lallanbhaiya | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 29% | 17 |
| #5 | DTox | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^f0x | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Lallanbhaiya | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^f0x | 180 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tabaahi | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lallanbhaiya | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | DTox | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^f0x | +0.65 | 54 | 68 |
| #2 | aMF | +0.08 | 39 | 54 |
| #3 | Tabaahi | -0.35 | 66 | 45 |
| #4 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | -1.47 | 59 | 36 |
| #5 | DTox | -1.73 | 66 | 44 |





