








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 314 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1285 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1162 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1094 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,604 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | DTox | 54% | 145 |
| #3 | ^f0x | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | Tabaahi | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | DTox | 54% | 145 |
| #3 | ^f0x | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | Tabaahi | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTox | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Tabaahi | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ^f0x | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTox | 98 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tabaahi | 52 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ^f0x | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tabaahi | +1.53 | 74 | 40 |
| #2 | DTox | +0.93 | 65 | 41 |
| #3 | ^f0x | +0.35 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | ✰G̷L̷₳D̷Ї₳ƬØR̷ ツ | -0.96 | 58 | 29 |
| #5 | Lallanbhaiya | -1.46 | 33 | 20 |





