








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 317 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1274 | 46% |
| Smokes | 652 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 449 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,341 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef B | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | timoterlabotine | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | saN | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | [𝐀][𝐋𝐆𝐳450] ★ 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓑𝓲𝓫𝓸™ | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef B | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | timoterlabotine | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | saN | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | [𝐀][𝐋𝐆𝐳450] ★ 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓑𝓲𝓫𝓸™ | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef B | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | saN | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | [𝐀][𝐋𝐆𝐳450] ★ 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓑𝓲𝓫𝓸™ | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | timoterlabotine | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef B | 104 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | saN | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | timoterlabotine | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | [𝐀][𝐋𝐆𝐳450] ★ 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓑𝓲𝓫𝓸™ | 23 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [𝐀][𝐋𝐆𝐳450] ★ 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓑𝓲𝓫𝓸™ | +6.25 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | saN | +1.36 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Chef B | +0.19 | 49 | 55 |
| #4 | timoterlabotine | -0.48 | 32 | 53 |
| #5 | [𝐀][𝐋𝐆𝐳450]★𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓑𝓲𝓫𝓸™ | -1.60 | 17 | 20 |





