








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 73 | 11% |
| Smokes | 337 | 51% |
| HE Grenades | 107 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 145 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,186 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magic Mike | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Pömps | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Cosmo | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | [papiSquad] Hoséi | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | dmpa | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [papiSquad] Hoséi | +7.82 | 65 | 63 |
| #2 | Magic Mike | +6.47 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | Cosmo | +3.53 | 80 | 26 |
| #4 | AutumnRain | +3.45 | 66 | 75 |
| #5 | MacMilk | +3.06 | 57 | 59 |





