








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 276 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4496 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5366 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4002 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3237 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,033 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 664 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rude | 42% | 19 |
| #2 | MIQI[FIN] | 40% | 55 |
| #3 | SUHINA | 38% | 21 |
| #4 | Absolutisti | 35% | 48 |
| #5 | Mira | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | saratink | 27% | 52 |
| #11 | kookoS | 25% | 55 |
| #12 | konaklotina | 24% | 21 |
| #13 | raihajames | 10% | 29 |
| #14 | MARSU | 0% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kookoS | 187 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bee | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rude | 68 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | saratink | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | raihajames | 56 | 0.09 | 2 min |





