








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 161 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3713 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1464 | 24% |
| Smokes | 469 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1802 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2347 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,872 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 一位失败的奥地利画家 | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | 真正的 donk666 冠军选手 | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Cathy (trans) | 57% | 61 |
| #4 | OvenBakedPotato | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | Carrie | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cathy (trans) | +3.45 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | Carrie | +3.22 | 95 | 67 |
| #3 | 真正的 donk666 冠军选手 | +3.08 | 83 | 43 |
| #4 | 一位失败的奥地利画家 | +1.90 | 85 | 14 |
| #5 | OvenBakedPotato | +1.75 | 54 | 72 |





