








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 920 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2394 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3096 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4931 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3823 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,179,198 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 623 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Baemmer | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | flashyy | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | 21 Chromosoms | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | fraNz フランツ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskoskosk | 422 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | 21 Chromosoms | 318 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #3 | fraNz フランツ | 256 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | flashyy | 254 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | | 235 | 0.06 | 7 min |





