








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 728 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2183 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1287 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,235,910 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anticistamine | 47% | 308 |
| #2 | KattenKuma | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | Turtlestrike | 40% | 192 |
| #4 | Remedial Backshots | 39% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anticistamine | 47% | 308 |
| #2 | KattenKuma | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | Turtlestrike | 40% | 192 |
| #4 | Remedial Backshots | 39% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KattenKuma | 24 | 0.0247 |
| #2 | Anticistamine | 21 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Turtlestrike | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Remedial Backshots | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turtlestrike | 408 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Anticistamine | 196 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #3 | KattenKuma | 153 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Remedial Backshots | 108 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anticistamine | +1.99 | 49 | 35 |
| #2 | Tits McGee | +1.24 | 55 | 45 |
| #3 | KattenKuma | +1.10 | 62 | 52 |
| #4 | Turtlestrike | -3.11 | 25 | 40 |
| #5 | Remedial Backshots | -4.46 | 14 | 28 |





