








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 935 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 745 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6837 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7711 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9281 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7608 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,579,016 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonny2k | 56% | 75 |
| #2 | ✪ moon-A- EIZO | 53% | 276 |
| #3 | Deadahead | 49% | 335 |
| #4 | Hαδεž | 48% | 566 |
| #5 | 「Silverf4x」 | 47% | 352 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hαδεž | 48% | 566 |
| #5 | 「Silverf4x」 | 47% | 352 |
| #6 | [PG] BROWNY | 47% | 83 |
| #7 | empty | 46% | 139 |
| #8 | Jim Panse | 44% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hαδεž | 15 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | 「Silverf4x」 | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ✪ moon-A- EIZO | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | empty | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Jim Panse | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hαδεž | 2215 | 0.19 | 55 min |
| #2 | Deadahead | 457 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | ✪ moon-A- EIZO | 393 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | 「Silverf4x」 | 339 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | empty | 206 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ moon-A- EIZO | +2.11 | 71 | 55 |
| #2 | ✪r4GE | +0.79 | 50 | 61 |
| #3 | empty | +0.68 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | Hαδεž | +0.42 | 42 | 84 |
| #5 | 「Silverf4x」 | +0.31 | 52 | 60 |





