








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2751 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2092 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1114 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1631 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,420 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eAsyz | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Eme | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | Sarigon | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | ✪ r4pX | 55% | 109 |
| #5 | yllis | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hemmo | 52% | 25 |
| #9 | Jiusonium | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | markoU | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | Sämmeyb | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | kooppari | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markoU | +1.92 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | Eme | +1.60 | 66 | 83 |
| #3 | PinkkiMoogle | +0.60 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | Sarigon | +0.11 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | Hemmo | -0.00 | 59 | 66 |





