








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 688 | 18% |
| Smokes | 756 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1464 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,514 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brong | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Bladecutter_ | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Endlessw1ll | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | нахуй | 52% | 114 |
| #5 | kevBOMB_2 | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brong | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Bladecutter_ | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Endlessw1ll | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | нахуй | 52% | 114 |
| #5 | kevBOMB_2 | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | нахуй | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Endlessw1ll | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Bladecutter_ | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | brong | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | kevBOMB_2 | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | нахуй | 337 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Endlessw1ll | 108 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | brong | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bladecutter_ | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | kevBOMB_2 | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brong | +3.75 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | нахуй | +2.02 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Endlessw1ll | +0.88 | 55 | 60 |
| #4 | gvd | -0.30 | 46 | 60 |
| #5 | Bladecutter_ | -1.21 | 43 | 48 |





