








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 894 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1637 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1209 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 562 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,902 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kRONENNN ;. | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Melvin | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | kAizer | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Bugyman | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | NiiiKo | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IvanFromUkraine | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Shanks | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Penguin | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Melvin | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ᵒᵏ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IvanFromUkraine | 198 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Stranger | 152 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shanks | 109 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | ᵒᵏ | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jarn | 72 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shanks | +1.29 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | BOTBOI | Ghost | +0.97 | 64 | 47 |
| #3 | NiiiKo | +0.80 | 83 | 47 |
| #4 | Stranger | +0.47 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | Penguin | -0.03 | 54 | 52 |





