








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 196 | 3% |
| Smokes | 1788 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2078 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1608 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,486 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Plankton | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ต๐ฒ | 62% | 39 |
| #6 | Twix | 61% | 299 |
| #7 | Zeagull | 59% | 241 |
| #8 | derp | 58% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twix | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Mรถรถtin | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | derp | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Zeagull | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ต๐ฒ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twix | 729 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | Zeagull | 506 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mรถรถtin | 300 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | derp | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ต๐ฒ | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twix | +6.84 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | Mรถรถtin | +2.75 | 75 | 46 |
| #3 | derp | -0.21 | 59 | 39 |
| #4 | ๐๐ป๐ธ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ต๐ฒ | -0.71 | 46 | 58 |
| #5 | Plankton | -1.32 | 67 | 24 |





