








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1395 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1593 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1209 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,037 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aios | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | ingn | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Fredd | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | CATKNIFE | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | 47% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CATKNIFE | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | 47% | 76 |
| #6 | Bambi på hal is | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | PAraflaXet | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | Knas | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Fredd | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Bambi på hal is | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | PAraflaXet | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Knas | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knas | 129 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | 121 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | CATKNIFE | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aios | 73 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bambi på hal is | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lester | +1.99 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | ingn | +1.33 | 78 | 45 |
| #3 | Bambi på hal is | +0.34 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | -0.45 | 64 | 46 |
| #5 | CATKNIFE | -0.81 | 68 | 65 |





