








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,666 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1357 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2308 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1298 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2191 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,456 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpitfireAce | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Bambi på hal is | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | CATKNIFE | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Lofty | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lofty | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | Fredd | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | Lester | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | Knas | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bambi på hal is | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Lester | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | SpitfireAce | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | CATKNIFE | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bambi på hal is | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Knas | 56 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pippin | Bla-Bla-Bla-Player | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lofty | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | CATKNIFE | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpitfireAce | +3.57 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Bambi på hal is | +1.96 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | Lester | +1.35 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | PAraflaXet | +0.87 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | Lofty | +0.23 | 76 | 71 |





