








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 736 | 29% |
| Smokes | 410 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 886 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,125 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $niedelwoods | 58% | 26 |
| 58% | 59 | ||
| #3 | Calliou | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Σzum𝕆 | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Konrad Adenauer | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Σzum𝕆 | 8 | 0.0060 |
| 7 | 0.0055 | ||
| 3 | 0.0038 | ||
| #4 | Calliou | 3 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | BoogE | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Σzum𝕆 | +2.36 | 48 | 62 |
| #2 | BoogE | +2.19 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | Calliou | +0.56 | 52 | 49 |
| #4 | Reaper🗿⃤⃢🍷™ | +0.39 | 17 | 61 |
| +0.37 | 53 | 47 |





