










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3486 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3716 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 342 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 1605 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,378 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1705 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Get clapped | 56% | 147 |
| #5 | Ni | 56% | 144 |
| #6 | weinerman | 47% | 36 |
| #7 | yeet | 44% | 118 |
| #8 | JoeBro | 40% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeBro | 45 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | yeet | 35 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Get clapped | 23 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Ni | 23 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | weinerman | 15 | 0.0212 |





