








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3380 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4936 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2701 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3310 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,886,512 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Wonderbread | 50% | 134 |
| #10 | an horse | 49% | 99 |
| #11 | chau | 47% | 153 |
| #12 | dewey | 42% | 71 |
| #13 | PROPHETIC KITTEN | 39% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | an horse | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | SOMAR | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | bloh | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | VietBong | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Jsuki | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cokeboy | 717 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | dewey | 716 | 0.46 | 18 min |
| #3 | VietBong | 626 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #4 | SOMAR | 620 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #5 | Wonderbread | 559 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chau | +1.45 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | droo | +0.98 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | SOMAR | +0.86 | 58 | 74 |
| #4 | Wonderbread | +0.54 | 81 | 69 |
| #5 | VietBong | +0.26 | 68 | 71 |





