








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 590 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5342 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4165 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2945 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3685 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,945 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 686 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quartz | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | chau | 54% | 141 |
| #3 | Pandzilla | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | cosmic | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | dewey | 51% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dewey | 2244 | 0.44 | 59 min |
| #2 | PROPHETIC KITTEN | 559 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | BlackNapalm | 329 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bunkey | 303 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | chau | 301 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tough | +2.72 | 77 | 52 |
| #2 | chau | +1.42 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | an horse | +0.97 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | droo | +0.74 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | cosmic | +0.33 | 86 | 53 |





