








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3561 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4640 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4052 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3151 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,174,594 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emanuel Desperados | 60% | 117 |
| #2 | Mohachi | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Lil Noddy | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Chris | 47% | 241 |
| #5 | Biola | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emanuel Desperados | 60% | 117 |
| #2 | Mohachi | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Lil Noddy | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Chris | 47% | 241 |
| #5 | Biola | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Emanuel Desperados | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Lil Noddy | 8 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | Biola | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Mohachi | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris | 661 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Emanuel Desperados | 208 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mohachi | 173 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lil Noddy | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Biola | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Multizether | +2.50 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | Emanuel Desperados | +1.31 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | Chris | -0.77 | 55 | 47 |
| #4 | Mohachi | -0.81 | 41 | 66 |
| #5 | Biola | -3.21 | 33 | 35 |





