








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 704 | 24% |
| Smokes | 700 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 799 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 688 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,272 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reiNer | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Max | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | ShiinxZ | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | -PoRNY- | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Wotan | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | hanselmann | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | Alx__ Ray Geld :) | 47% | 15 |
| #12 | player | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | IccE. | 33% | 6 |
| #14 | hWx | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alx__ Ray Geld :) | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | ONE7 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ッLunat1cJoe | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Wotan | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ShiinxZ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShiinxZ | 123 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | l4rry | 90 | 0.38 | 3 min |
| #3 | Wotan | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ッLunat1cJoe | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ONE7 | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hWx | +3.49 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | ShiinxZ | +2.79 | 93 | 50 |
| #3 | -PoRNY- | +2.21 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | Alx__ Ray Geld :) | +2.00 | 93 | 68 |
| #5 | IccE. | +1.79 | 79 | 77 |





