








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 940 | 40% |
| Smokes | 427 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 467 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 531 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $285,661 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pphantom | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Crusader | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | -)-)Zeus(-(- | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Gopnigg | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | jar | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | stev.v | 35% | 20 |
| #12 | DalvaN | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | mix0Rwhat- | 25% | 4 |
| #14 | Rub1cs :): | 20% | 5 |
| #15 | mst | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gopnigg | +4.02 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | DalvaN | +2.30 | 90 | 57 |
| #3 | Rub1cs :): | +2.26 | 87 | 64 |
| #4 | jar | +1.65 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | Crusader | +1.47 | 81 | 50 |





