








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 531 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5643 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4260 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6170 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6225 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,359,336 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | General Tapioca | 56% | 141 |
| #3 | soulseek | 51% | 111 |
| #4 | Wobu | 51% | 614 |
| #5 | BartzaNinou | 50% | 120 |
| #6 | ketzOO- | 47% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wobu | 12 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | General Tapioca | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ketzOO- | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | soulseek | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | BartzaNinou | 3 | 0.0013 |





