








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 232 | 15% |
| Smokes | 348 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 503 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 452 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,355 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kujurii | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Zerqs | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Nedge | 47% | 81 |
| #4 | Jigy | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | gc.Toastie | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zerqs | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Nedge | 47% | 81 |
| #4 | Jigy | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | gc.Toastie | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | RoCkEy | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nedge | 17 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Jigy | 16 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | gc.Toastie | 2 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Kujurii | 2 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | Zerqs | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jigy | 154 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nedge | 143 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Zerqs | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | RoCkEy | 11 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kujurii | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kujurii | +7.01 | 88 | 31 |
| #2 | Jigy | +0.72 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | Sealoth | +0.52 | 56 | 32 |
| #4 | Nedge | -0.02 | 63 | 53 |
| #5 | Zerqs | -1.71 | 50 | 60 |





