








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1301 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3390 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3210 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2311 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,224 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kujurii | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | Jigy | 51% | 137 |
| #3 | RoCkEy | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Zerqs | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | zombiemealhere4 | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Zerqs | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | zombiemealhere4 | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | Sealoth | 47% | 81 |
| #7 | gc.Toastie | 42% | 45 |
| #8 | gc.Profit | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jigy | 28 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Sealoth | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Zerqs | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | gc.Toastie | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Kujurii | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jigy | 335 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Zerqs | 237 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sealoth | 84 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | RoCkEy | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kujurii | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kujurii | +4.21 | 85 | 42 |
| #2 | Jigy | +1.25 | 71 | 54 |
| #3 | Nedge | +0.63 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | Sealoth | +0.30 | 56 | 32 |
| #5 | RoCkEy | -1.05 | 62 | 64 |





