








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 399 | 31% |
| Smokes | 318 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 327 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 250 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,665 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -aftermath- | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | kylennnnn | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | disco | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Deano | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | you spin me right round | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Folkachi | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Ry@n2K | 56% | 27 |
| #9 | speedstyle | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | inf | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | Porkypus | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speedstyle | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Folkachi | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kylennnnn | 103 | 0.49 | 3 min |
| #2 | zzzzzzzzz FF already... | 98 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Folkachi | 40 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ry@n2K | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | you spin me right round | 30 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ry@n2K | +4.42 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | -aftermath- | +4.41 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | Deano | +2.79 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | inf | +1.46 | 85 | 54 |
| #5 | Folkachi | +0.96 | 70 | 60 |





