








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 895 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1445 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 718 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1139 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,747 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bugemeister | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | L1nq | 58% | 89 |
| #3 | bunz | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Ponygon | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | Bartle Doo | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1nq | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | bunz | 6 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Bartle Doo | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Captain Bardock | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | bugemeister | 2 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1nq | +2.30 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | bugemeister | +1.69 | 57 | 47 |
| #3 | bunz | +0.87 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | BLoTz | +0.51 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | Ponygon | -0.85 | 66 | 34 |





