








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1784 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1358 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 746 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 751 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,995 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cAlx | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | deacon the villain | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | EFF0RT | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Frallan | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | lindrozzo Mr Worldwide | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | deacon the villain | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | EFF0RT | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Frallan | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | lindrozzo Mr Worldwide | 29% | 7 |
| #6 | 𝔽𝟙𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕪𝕫 | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔽𝟙𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕪𝕫 | 2 | 0.0185 |
| #2 | deacon the villain | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | EFF0RT | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deacon the villain | 97 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | EFF0RT | 25 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | cAlx | 22 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | lindrozzo Mr Worldwide | 18 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Frallan | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔽𝟙𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕪𝕫 | +4.19 | 95 | 37 |
| #2 | EFF0RT | +1.80 | 68 | 51 |
| #3 | RagekulaN | +1.65 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | cAlx | -0.44 | 59 | 75 |
| #5 | lindrozzo Mr Worldwide | -0.53 | 62 | 72 |





