








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1295 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1260 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 958 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 943 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,327 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiriojo | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | mrz | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Yezman | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | szczeniakpl | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | el toro | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | el toro | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | Brandalf 694 | 52% | 31 |
| #7 | BarthezR | 48% | 48 |
| #8 | kovaq | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | Vi king | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el toro | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Brandalf 694 | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | BarthezR | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Vi king | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Tiriojo | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BarthezR | 136 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Brandalf 694 | 65 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | kovaq | 50 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vi king | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | mrz | 42 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiriojo | +4.04 | 58 | 59 |
| #2 | Yezman | +2.04 | 91 | 52 |
| #3 | BarthezR | +1.68 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Brandalf 694 | +1.55 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | szczeniakpl | +0.12 | 54 | 33 |





