








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4199 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4747 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4193 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4057 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $992,741 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ❄️Himalaj | 52% | 92 |
| #7 | BarthezR | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | Brandalf 694 | 46% | 28 |
| #9 | Blackiiiiiiiiii | 43% | 47 |
| #10 | swtk | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorAti | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Glader | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Jose Arcadio Morales | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ❄️Himalaj | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Blackiiiiiiiiii | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glader | 1097 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| #2 | NorAti | 944 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #3 | Jose Arcadio Morales | 452 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | ❄️Himalaj | 122 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Blackiiiiiiiiii | 104 | 0.10 | 3 min |





