








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4972 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3734 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3772 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3622 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,529,965 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fleet | 56% | 120 |
| #2 | Kathi | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | TyLL3R<3S-EIZO | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | Izzie | 49% | 440 |
| #5 | Der Lieferjunge | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Izzie | 1732 | 0.20 | 48 min |
| #2 | Kathi | 496 | 0.55 | 11 min |
| #3 | fleet | 244 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | TyLL3R<3S-EIZO | 143 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | JLS.cs | 136 | 0.20 | 4 min |





