








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6712 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7692 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5251 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5131 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,680 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cluster | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | vacel | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Tio | 52% | 67 |
| #4 | Doener mit ohne alles | 50% | 153 |
| #5 | BLAZZIN | 49% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doener mit ohne alles | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | FACULTY | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | BLAZZIN | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | IchhabkeinGeld | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | cluster | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FACULTY | 972 | 0.23 | 31 min |
| #2 | BLAZZIN | 427 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | Doener mit ohne alles | 222 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tio | 146 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | cluster | 132 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vacel | +4.98 | 91 | 73 |
| #2 | cluster | +3.80 | 90 | 73 |
| #3 | BLAZZIN | +3.20 | 90 | 71 |
| #4 | FACULTY | +2.12 | 81 | 82 |
| #5 | Tio | +0.66 | 70 | 64 |





