








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3954 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4052 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4676 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4612 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,254,713 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caramelsandwich | 68% | 80 |
| #2 | knilgames | 57% | 83 |
| #3 | Daddy Xi Ping | 56% | 319 |
| #4 | ACE4OUR7EVEN | 56% | 96 |
| #5 | NBN worker | 29% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caramelsandwich | 68% | 80 |
| #2 | knilgames | 57% | 83 |
| #3 | Daddy Xi Ping | 56% | 319 |
| #4 | ACE4OUR7EVEN | 56% | 96 |
| #5 | NBN worker | 29% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Xi Ping | 39 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | caramelsandwich | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | knilgames | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ACE4OUR7EVEN | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | NBN worker | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddy Xi Ping | 790 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | ACE4OUR7EVEN | 279 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | knilgames | 278 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | caramelsandwich | 133 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | NBN worker | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pogdonovich | +2.74 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | caramelsandwich | +1.38 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | Daddy Xi Ping | +0.65 | 56 | 56 |
| #4 | ACE4OUR7EVEN | +0.18 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | knilgames | -1.04 | 52 | 56 |





