










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 940 | 38% |
| Smokes | 565 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 461 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 499 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,525 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DalvaN | 20% | 5 |
| #8 | Adapa | 18% | 11 |
| #9 | TrippiN | 0% | 4 |
| #10 | fs | 0% | 4 |
| #11 | mix0Rwhat- | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stev.v | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ZweN'- | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stev.v | 109 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | DalvaN | 30 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #3 | Adapa | 21 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ZweN'- | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | fs | 16 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fs | +3.16 | 89 | 61 |
| #2 | -)-)Zeus(-(- | +2.88 | 59 | 45 |
| #3 | stev.v | +2.10 | 87 | 71 |
| #4 | DalvaN | +1.99 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | TrippiN | +0.59 | 65 | 42 |





