








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 199 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2023 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2357 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2266 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1817 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,966 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NitrouZ | 66% | 103 |
| #2 | eL3oSK. | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | Arkii불멸 | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Carnage | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | バカ ☣☕⌛ | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Arkii불멸 | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | Carnage | 52% | 126 |
| #5 | バカ ☣☕⌛ | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | jash~' | 45% | 76 |
| #7 | ParadoxMaNNN | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NitrouZ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Carnage | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | jash~' | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Arkii불멸 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carnage | 532 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | jash~' | 346 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | NitrouZ | 238 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | eL3oSK. | 131 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Arkii불멸 | 124 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NitrouZ | +2.10 | 94 | 66 |
| #2 | jash~' | +1.24 | 82 | 76 |
| #3 | ParadoxMaNNN | +0.60 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | Xaen | +0.01 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | eL3oSK. | +0.00 | 66 | 76 |





