








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2563 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2557 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1885 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,054,831 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParadoxMaNNN | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Xaen | 66% | 103 |
| #3 | eL3oSK. | 64% | 56 |
| #4 | Carnage | 61% | 135 |
| #5 | バカ ☣☕⌛ | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | eL3oSK. | 64% | 56 |
| #4 | Carnage | 61% | 135 |
| #5 | バカ ☣☕⌛ | 57% | 40 |
| #6 | Arkii불멸 | 57% | 79 |
| #7 | jash~' | 56% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jash~' | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Xaen | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Arkii불멸 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carnage | 588 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | jash~' | 442 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | Xaen | 245 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Arkii불멸 | 183 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | バカ ☣☕⌛ | 153 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jash~' | +1.59 | 81 | 76 |
| #2 | NitrouZ | +1.39 | 92 | 63 |
| #3 | ParadoxMaNNN | +0.49 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | eL3oSK. | +0.04 | 65 | 75 |
| #5 | Xaen | -0.15 | 76 | 63 |





