








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 692 | 30% |
| Smokes | 673 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 472 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 475 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $187,772 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brö | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | -m4 | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Tuke | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | keb | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Daddy FyyZioN | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | keb | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Daddy FyyZioN | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | miqu | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | feltz | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Sawave | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuke | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuke | 95 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | miqu | 58 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Daddy FyyZioN | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Brö | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sawave | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miqu | +2.85 | 78 | 80 |
| #2 | Daddy FyyZioN | +2.73 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | AXA | +2.14 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | Sawave | +2.08 | 89 | 52 |
| #5 | Brö | +1.61 | 73 | 59 |





